“IT’S LIFE AND I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT”
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AN EX-MORMON GAY GIRL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT LIFE
Hi there, I’m your host, Shelly!
Growing up in a patriarchal Mormon family with 3 older brothers, a strict father and a submissive mother, gender roles and obedience to authority were drilled into my head daily. I hated everything about being a girl. I always knew I was “less than” the boys. I never even questioned it.
I was taught that boys get the priesthood. Girls get nothing. Boys get to join Scouts and go camping and hiking and learn how to build fires. Girls get to learn how to sew and be good wives for their husbands. Boys get to wear pants. Girls have to wear dresses, and on and on. Don’t even get me started on polygamy.
Growing up I tried my best, but had a hard time following all the Mormon rules. Guilt and shame were piled on top of my feelings of inferiority. At age 20 I decided to repent of all my “sinful” ways and go to Brigham Young University.
It all started with a tomboy in a patriarchal world
I knew I had to get married and start a family in order to follow God’s “Plan of Happiness.” I met my now ex-husband and got married in the temple. I was taught that marrying a returned missionary in the temple was the only way to have happiness.
The next step in my path was “multiplying and replenishing the earth.” I was still striving to find that happiness that God had promised. Fourteen years, nine pregnancies and seven amazing children later, I was drowning in my life. I was the perpetually happy, perfect Mormon wife and mother on the outside. Inside, I was breaking.
I hung in there for as long as I could. Got all 7 kids to church every Sunday morning, attended the temple, read the scriptures, put in countless hours of church service every week, homeschooled 7 kids (for 3 years and that damn near killed me), cooked, cleaned, and did laundry for a family of 9 all while taking care of a hobby farm with horses and chickens.
As the path for any good Mormon girl goes, the next leg of my journey was marriage and motherhood.
At age 40, I broke. I had built this perfect Mormon life that I had been told would make me happy, but I was drowning and just couldn’t do it anymore. My marriage was in shambles, my faith was crumbling. My depression was a thick fog and my anxiety kept me on the edge, ready to snap at any moment.
Trashy Reality TV
GUILTY PLEASURE
“I Lose Control” - Teddy Swimms
SONG ON REPEAT
Chile Rellenos
FAVORITE FOOD
Dude Ranch with a real cattle round-up
BUCKET LIST ITEM
Depends on the day
FAVORITE CHILD
Joe from “The Facts of Life”
CELEBRITY CRUSH
fun facts about shelly
Amidst the twists and turns, my family remains an integral part of my story. Click the arrows below to scroll through and get to know the seven incredible individuals who have been with me through thick and thin.
MEET THE FAMILY
At that time, both my husband and I stepped away from the church. It wasn’t long after that I realized I’m gay. Yup, a big lesbian. I stayed in the marriage, determined to make it work, but within a year we were divorced. After the divorce I came out publicly to my family, friends, and the world.
I met my now ex-girlfriend Mary, and we began the journey of the Latter-Day Lesbian Podcast. I found healing in telling my story. I found strength in learning that I’m not alone in my experiences, and I found a huge community of wonderful people who were just looking for a place to belong.
24 yrs old born in 1999
Lincoln
Ah, the firstborn. The HUGE headed 9lb 2oz baby that turned my birthing canal into a 4 lane highway to make it easier for his siblings to come shooting out into the world when it was their turn. He has been looking out for his brothers and sisters ever since. Lincoln is my loving, quick-witted, soft-hearted hippie.
21 yrs old born in 2002
gavin
With the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck 3 times AND tied in a knot, this kid barely made it! Gavin is my loyal, helpful son. There's nothing he won't do to help anyone in need. He gives amazing compliments and hugs and always tells me he loves me. Also, he doesn't ask me for money so that's awesome!
20 yrs old born in 2003
Genevieve
This girl doesn't take shit from anyone. She's also a deep-thinker and an empath with a sensitive soul who cares about everyone and everything. All of the pets follow her around and just want to be with her. Everyone wants to be around Genevieve. Also, she will cut you if you hurt me. Just sayin.'
17 yrs old born in 2006
simon
Simon is my quiet, athletic kid. Not just quiet - almost silent, unless he needs to correct any misinformation spewed by his siblings. He is smart AF and loves to learn. He also loves to sing car karaoke with me, which doesn't really line up with him being silent, but whatever.
15 yrs old born in 2008
SABRINA
She came out of the womb chatty and hasn't stopped talking since. I think she is making up for Simon's silence. Sabrina is sassy and funny and also doesn't take shit from anyone. Even though she is chatty, she is also a great listener and friend and is always up for a good adventure.
12 yrs old born in 2011
PHILIP
This kid. I have no idea what goes on in his brain. He is weird and crazy in all the best ways and says the funniest shit. So much funny shit that he had almost a full page of the 2019 LDL "Christmas" Letter dedicated to the weird-ass sentences that came out of his mouth that year. Also, he is a Momma's boy and gives amazing hugs.
10 yrs old born in 2013
Kassidy
Just like her sisters, this girl doesn't take shit from anyone. She's shy and sweet but will also unleash hell on Philip if he annoys her too much. Her creative tongue-lashings are something to behold. Kassidy is also clever and funny and helpful and loves to give gifts and hugs.
meet the family
FOLLOW ALONG ON IG
In the midst of this transformative journey, I found solace and strength in the act of sharing. The Podcast became my canvas—a space to process, navigate, and share the complexities of leaving behind the familiar for the unknown. Through each episode, I rediscover the resilience within, using my experiences to extend a hand to others navigating their paths of self-discovery.
Amidst the twists and turns, my family remains an integral part of my story. Click the arrows below to scroll through and get to know the seven incredible individuals who have been with me through thick and thin.
MEET THE FAMILY
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Amidst the twists and turns, my family remains an integral part of my story. Click the arrows below to scroll through and get to know the seven incredible individuals who have been with me through thick and thin.
MEET THE FAMILY
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